If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
