Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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