dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
