hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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