Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
there is glitter all over my balls
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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