I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
wow bdsm is so cute
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
