my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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