living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
