My friends, they love my intelligence
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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