If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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