An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
