That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
