I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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