if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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