who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
