It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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