I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
