Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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