You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
