Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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