i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
