Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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