Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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