there's paper in my vomit.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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