she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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