Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
