Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
