I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
