It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
