so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
