everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
