a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize