the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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