I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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