before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
