Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
