Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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