I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
