mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
