We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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