guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
