i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
