definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
