forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
