You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
