Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
