In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
