hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
