I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have feelings that need drinking.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
