I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
